Bringing her back
by ForeverLove2196
Summary: Lissa dies when they run away. Rose believes she is still alive, only as a Strogoi. Rose is dragged back to the academy meeting the delicious Guardian Belikov. She opens up to him, but finds a way to turn Lissa back. What happens next?
1. Going home

I was pacing the length of my room, waiting for the pizza guy. He should have been here ten minutes ago, let's see what kind of tip I give him. I hate delivery boys. I heard the knock and the familiar yell saying it was Johnny delivering it. I grabbed the twenty and ran down the stairs. I opened the front door and gave him the twenty, slamming the screen door in his face. "Hey, come on Rosie."

"You're ten minutes late, fuck that." He laughed and came in. "Who said you could enter?" I growled. He smirked at me. He grabbed me and pulled me into him. His lips crashing to mine I felt the familiar softness. I loved his kiss at times, and then others were infuriating. He pulled back.

"You know you should give me a tip." I laughed and smacked his arm. He laughed backing away. "I have other runs to make, call me tomorrow. I nodded, not planning to. My roommate was looking at me in curiosity.

"I don't know, but pizza's here." She laughed. I started bunking here about four months ago. Lissa had died almost a year ago today. I unknowingly touched the scar that raked my cheek back onto my neck and back. It wasn't painful getting it, but it hurt knowing why I got it. We sat down munching. I didn't talk much and if I did it was because I was drunk or stoned or both.

_"Lissa, come on let's go. I promise I will be good." _

_ "Rose, I think you should just stay and study."_

_ "Psht, I hate studying, we both know that." She laughed._

I hated when the memories crashed into my mind. They felt like bombs. Lissa was my best friend and we ran away from St. Vlad's three years ago at age thirteen. We were fine on our own for two year's until that one night where they killed her. They drank her dry, not even bothering with me. I watched their every move. It pained me to go back.

"Are you going out tonight?" I glanced at Stevie.

"No, are you?"

"Yeah, Jack and I are going to a movie, you wanna join?"

"No."

"Okay, well what are you gonna do tonight then?"

"Study or watch t.v. I don't know which yet." She laughed her silvery laugh.

"Sounds like fun."

"Oh, it will be." She laughed again. She left for the movies about an hour later. I went up to my room to change clothes to go for a jog. I was in Portland, and it was a hot fall. I changed into shorts and a sports bra. I wasn't shy about my body when it came down to it, I was proud to be who I was. I was tattooed and proud. I had Moljina marks across my neck, then lowering into vicious spirals. I also had other tattoos and piercings. Strogoi still came after me, but they didn't test me that often. They knew I had a stake with me everywhere.

I locked up the house and started my run. I could run fifteen miles no problem, I had Strogoi speed. That's what Lissa always told me. I laughed a little to myself. I came to a stop sign; I took out my iPod, turning it on. I continued my run.

I have been running for almost three hours, I turned the corner to my street. I sensed someone behind me. I ran faster, I came up to my door, unlocking it hastily. I felt someone behind me. I sent my foot out. I turned towards my attacker. My door slightly open. He was tall, huge. I kicked his gut, sending him backwards. He grunted, my play list stopped now. I kicked his groin, sending him falling to the ground. I took off, running at full speed. I never expected to be stopped. A tall man stepped out in front of me. I stopped, only to feel twelve other presences. They all surrounded me. I grabbed my stake out of my bra; I know how could I hide it? It was specially made, carved thin and long. It was easy to hide.

The tallest man put his hand up in a truce like statement. I felt a presence that shouldn't have been there. I looked up, seeing a Strogoi watching me. He dropped down, landing on top of me, biting down into me. I growled, rolling over, hitting him until he let go. "How is the Princessa, Rosie?" a tear fell as he traced my scar. I stabbed his heart, his tortures scream muffled by my mouth. He smiled his last smile at me. The guardians all in shock. I reached into his pocket, pulling out the note I knew was there.

_My dearest Rosie,_

_ I have missed you so, how is the Princessa? I know you killed him and needed to contact you. I plan to kill you, just like the Princessa. I can not wait until our next meeting. So long for now._

I held my head in my hands. I took deep breaths calming my nerve. I slowly stood, still letting my hair hide my face, my scar. "Ms. Hathaway." I looked up at the deep accented voice, his beautiful face.

"Leave me alone, I am not yours." I sneered.

"My name is Dimitri Belikov, I am here to take you back to St. Vladimir's." I looked at him in anger. "Where is the Princess?" I couldn't let him see falter.

"She died." I put it as simply as I could, without more pain.

"When?" he sounded worried.

"Mr. Belikov, you came to take me to the academy, so take me already." He looked like he wanted to question me, but I threw my long hair over my shoulder, letting him see the twisted, snarled scar I now had. His eyes showed wonder and horror. I threw my hair up into a messy side pony tail. My eyes were cold, heartless.

"Come with us." They dragged me to the private jet.

XXXXXXXXXX

I sat in my seat, looking at the earth beneath us all the twisted mountains, the little lakes and ponds. I wish I was still free. I'm sixteen and I have been dragged back to the academy for my life's torture. I was better than anyone there. I felt him sit next to me. "What happened?" I glanced at him.

"What do you mean?" he wanted to know how and why Liss died. I planned to bring her back, honestly I thought they mixed her blood. I just need to find another spirit user.

"How did she die?" I was almost to hyperventilating now.

"I..." I looked at him, letting the sorrow step into my eyes. "She was murdered."

"Was she changed?" I looked away.

"Hopefully, I can change her back that way."

"Rose, no one can come back from that."

"Yes, they can. I met this woman in Russia who told me, they can come back." He looked at me one last time then stood and left. I curled myself into a ball, letting the pain take over. I only had an hour to get the pain out before we landed. I let my eyes drift closed, I fell asleep. I was in the same haunting nightmare that has controlled me for a year. I screamed out as they bit into her neck. I felt the world shake, I fell to the ground. I looked up to see Guardian Belikov standing there.

"We are here." I stood, brushing myself off. I walked behind the head guardians, Belikov standing directly next to me. No part of my jiggled or moved in any other way then they should have. I walked with pride, until the walked me through the commons. He was stoned face, yet I saw the satisfaction they got in taking me through the commons. I didn't show any emotion through any of it, not even the wolf whistles. We shut the doors behind us; I was in the main office type thing. We went right in to Kirova.

"Ms. Hathaway." I nodded my respect. "Where is the Princess?"

"Six feet under." My jaw clenched.

"How?"

"Strogoi. Can you get me my boarding information?"

"Of course." She typed into the computer at her desk. "There are no free dorms available at the moment, so you will be staying with Guardian Belikov in the outer cabin and an extra bed will be brought out. Guardian Belikov will escort you. You will report to him with any questions and you will do training with him for an hour before school and three after school. Go to Guardian Petrov for your class schedules and extra assignments tomorrow morning. Today will be you beginner training session with Belikov." I nodded, not caring. All I had to do was find a spirit user.

"May I go headmistress?"

"No, you will also do a few weeks of community service, see Petrov for that too."

"Yes headmistress, now may I leave?"

"Yes Rose." I walked towards the door with Dimitri in tow. "Oh and Rose?" I turned to her. "It's really nice to have you back." I smiled a sad smile. "I'm sorry about Vasilissa."

"Me too." I left, pain curdling my stomach. I was sad and happy all at the same time. I just wanted to go cry in a corner. Dimitri had been silent, just leading us through the empty grounds.

"Rose, I am sorry for your loss." I looked at him.

"I don't need pity. Let's just go train." He nodded, leading me to the training gym. I was in no mood to fight, but then again I never was. I fought every day of my life for control, for one ounce of happiness. I was nothing anymore. We walked into the cool gym. He went and dragged stuff out of the closet, while I went to the window to watch the students run the tracks length. I saw a few of my old friends; they have matured quite a bit. I heard someone clear their throat. I glanced at Dimitri, seeing he was ready to start.

"Let's start with the dummies, show me your staking abilities." I walked over to a tall blonde haired one resembling the Strogoi that murdered my best friend. I went to start, staking it over and over again in perfect form. I felt a hand on my shoulder. I looked at Dimitri. "Good job, you did it perfectly. Now let's spar." I nodded again, complying with my new mentor.

We circled each other, he made the first move. He threw punches only having a few land. I didn't even budge, then it was my turn. I threw punch after punch landing each one. Some part of me was screaming not to bruise his god like body. I was laughing on the inside. I went low, tripping him backwards. I straddled him, feeling him against me.

"I win." He looked up at me with honor and… shock? I slowly stood, my body rejecting the distance. What was going on? He stood too. "Can we be done?" he nodded. "Can you show me the cabin?" he nodded again.

He led me out of the gym and into the woods, along a narrow path. It led right to the cabin. It wasn't tiny, but it wasn't huge either. We entered, to find all my stuff on the main bed. I looked at him, "I want that bed." He cracked a smile. I smiled back at him. I walked over to the bed looking at all my bags and boxes spread out on that half of the room. He walked over.

"Want help?" I glanced over him.

"Sure. Get those three boxes unpacked." He walked over to the boxes holding Lissa's and my's favorite things, all the pictures, all the memories. He started in on the boxes while I unloaded the first suitcase. I went to the closet and dresser. "Um, do you want to do halfsies?" he looked at my strangely. Then realization hit.

"Yeah, take as much as you need. I don't have much." I smiled at him and went to unpacking my bras and underwear. I organized them in one of the three tiniest drawers there.

It didn't take that long to unpack my clothes. I was finished and unpacking my bedroom contents. I saw Dimitri still looking at the photos of Lissa and me. I walked over behind him, looking at the one where Lissa smashed an ice cream cone on my face at the local fair. I smiled at the memory. "How about we switch?" he looked up at me and nodded. I got out the photos looking at them all, at least a hundred. I got out some of the drawings and paintings we did when we were in Russia. In the end I put over half of the photo's away and a few paintings. I set about ten of the photos on my night stands and the rest were hung on the walls. I set the rest of the boxes in a corner marking them not to be touched.

I saw Dimitri move on to the box that had my special stuff in it. It was a smaller box, but not small. He dumped it out onto the now made bed. His face was hilarious. I had all size condoms, pads, tampons, my BC pills, and everything else. He looked at me, then back to the supplies, and then away blushing. I started laughing. "Why do you have all this?"

"Do I really need to explain?" I asked once I stopped laughing. He shook his head.

"I have a… a shift to go to." I nodded, watching him retreat through the door. I shrugged and finished unpacking. The school let out about two hours ago, so I decided to get a shower. I didn't care about being modest; I just stripped and threw my clothes into the organized hamper. I went to the dresser, pulling out something to wear to bed.

I stepped into the hot shower, letting it pound holes into my back. I took my time, letting the warm water heat me up.

_ "Ah, stop Rosie." Lissa squealed as I sprayed her._

_ "No, this is hilarious." I let the water stop hitting her. She turned towards me with a bucket._

_ "Your turn Rose." I screamed backing away. She threw the water, letting it chill me to the core. I was gasping as my body started quivering._

_ "Evil bitch." I screamed smiling at her. I squirted her with the hose again. She squealed running away._

I shook off that memory, stepping out of the shower. I grabbed my dark purple towel, drying my body off. I changed into my tank and thong. I went through my normal routine: whiten teeth, brush hair, braid hair, facial mask. It went over smoothly. I walked out of the bathroom. I was just hanging up my towel when Dimitri walked in. He looked at me and nodded, then turned away. He froze and turned back to me. His eyes raked over my body, my curves, my breasts, my lowers. I grinned at him. "I was just going to bed." He nodded, not really even hearing me.

"Shower." He mumbled, finally going to the bathroom to shower, most likely cold. I lay down in my bed, stretching. I heard the shower turn on, I thought I heard something else but I guess not. I tried to close my eyes, yet I couldn't fall asleep. I stood, going to my night basket. That basket is where I keep all my night ritual supplies. I took out my lotion, maybe my little crush could turn into something more. No, bad thoughts.

I sighed and went to moisturize my legs. I was on the second leg when Dimitri emerged. He took one look at me and shut the door to the bathroom again. I shrugged and finished my moisturizing. I walked over to the bathroom door. I knocked. "Yes?" his deep voice was accented more.

"I need to brush my teeth, may I come in?" He groaned.

"Um, yeah." He opened the door, letting me in. I slid right by in front of him, feeling him. He groaned. "I'm going to bed." He left.

I went to the sink, brushing my teeth. I knew he had a nice view of my butt, the sink was set in a little. I was going to have fun with this.

_ "Rose, stop messing with the poor guy." She knew what I was doing._

_ "Why it's so fun?" I looked across the pool at the two hot twins looking at us, checking us out. We looked hot, we were in tiny bikinis and we were luring them over here, or well I was. I mouthed come here to them. "Liss, they are rich, think how much fun we could have."_

_ "Rose, stop. You can't do this. We will have to leave here sooner or later." I nodded. _

_ "Have fun until then." She sighed giving up, as the twins arrived. _

The memories were so much stronger than they used to be. I rinsed my brush, walking out of the bathroom, turning the light off. I sat down on my bed, knowing that Dimitri was pretending to be asleep. I picked up the picture of Liss and I and the twin hottie's. I smiled at the picture. I shut off the light and got ready to sleep. I let my breathing even, soon drifting into the darkness of sleep.


	2. Who am I?

Life was pretty normal. I finished the unpacking, waiting for my school hell to start. My dreams the same as they have been for the last year. Nathan, slowly let his fangs sneaking their way into her throat, his gang holding my head as he drank her dry. They didn't let me see whether they changed her or not, but I still felt her. I know that sounds crazy, but I feel that she is alive, only not. My dreams became my reality. They became the only thing I held dear in the last year.

_"Rose?" I looked towards her. "I think it is time we went home."_

_ "Me too Liss, me too. We will head back in a week or two." She nodded, obviously happy to be heading back to the academy. I was kind of excited myself, we had left everything to get away, but that was the sacrifice that Liss dreaded making. "When we go back to the apartment we will make arrangements to go home." I closed my eyes, ready to enjoy the Italian sun for the last time until Montana. _

I felt someone shaking me. I woke up to Dimitri and my alarm clock going off. "Get up, you will skip this morning's practice and go and meet with Guardian Petrov for assignments." I nodded, rolling off the bed to the floor with a thunk. I slowly stood, stretching. I walked to the bathroom to get ready for the day. I changed into my white skinny jeans and my black cropped tee that ended right above my belly piercing. I undid my braid letting the dark curls and waves cover my back. I used cover up to cover the bags under my eyes, and then applied a little mascara and blush. I checked the time seeing I had fifteen minutes to get there, and Dimitri waited patiently for me to finish. I put on my heel boots, that came just below my knee and they were hot to say the least.

I sat on my bed, while Dimitri changed and brushed his teeth. He left his hair down, which was a total turn on. He emerged three minutes later, ready to go. "How can you be ready so fast?" I asked making him smile.

"I'm not a woman." I smiled at that.

"No you're definitely not a woman." I muttered, walking out the front door, after grabbing my bag. I didn't expect him to hear me, but the grin told me he did. "Well damn." I said making him laugh. We walked to Alberta's office in silence, not awkward just comfortable. It was a perfect sunset morning. I hated the time changes, but I could deal. I WAS home, supposedly. We entered the cool office, waiting for Alberta to look up. Her eyes landed on me filling with softness and love.

"Rose, how are you?" I just glanced over her, not able to hold back the sadness and love creep into my eyes.

"Fine." I had to look away before I broke down into tears. "Can I just get my assignments and schedule?" I didn't want to stand here and talk about my feelings any longer. I wasn't some week weeping little girl.

"Rosemarie Hathaway." The voice boomed, sending my back rigid. Great, just what I wanted to deal with today. I heard the familiar clack of heels to the guardian's shoes. "Where have you been?" she ordered.

"Everywhere, never just one place." My mother stood behind me, waiting to see my face, my new snarled face. I slowly turned to her. "We didn't like staying in one spot." She took in my face, with a gasp of horror and disowning me.

"What happened?" she whispered, reaching to touch the scar.

"I was scratched. I don't want to talk about it." I went to turn away, only for my mother to grab my arm and forcibly turn me towards her. I glared at her.

"Where did you get it?" she was fuming.

"I got it when they killed her, okay? Is that good enough for you? They killed her and scarred me to make sure I didn't forget." She released her hold on my arm, wanting to hug me, but I backed away. "Like I could forget the way her blood flew from her neck, dripped down Nathan's chin." I grabbed the folder off of the desk and stormed out. I felt Dimitri following me. I headed right to the cabin, not caring first hour was about to start. I paced the length of the cabin. Hatred pouring off of me.

"Are you okay?" I glanced at Dimitri, seeing the concern in his eyes.

"Honestly? No." he nodded. "Will I be? Maybe someday. I just wish I could, I don't know leave this life behind and be with someone that loves me and makes me smile every day." I don't know exactly why I told him all this, it was just something about him that triggered this thing in me to actually open up. "I hate her, but I don't."

"Roza, I am sorry that you went through that." He whispered. He looked at me with the sweet big doe eyes. "Roza, we should go to first hour." Somehow we had gotten so close, almost touching. He brushed a stray hair behind my ear. His lips came to mine, we molded together. I felt so many emotions, ones I haven't felt in a long time. Our tongues fought for dominance and control. It ended too soon. He pulled away, but kept us still close. "I'm sorry." I grinned.

"I'm not." He laughed slightly. I leaned in kissing his lips one last time; I finished by biting his bottom lip lightly. "We should go." He nodded. He let me go, walking towards the door. I followed him out, heading to first hour. I was officially twenty minutes late. We were a ten minute walk away so; I didn't have to deal with Alto too long.

"We were in Russia. Moving about, from place to place trying to get into safe territory." I started my story. He turned to listen to me. "I was out working my shift at the local bar, Liss sitting in front of me with a drink in her hand. We had just left our recent life starter, our boyfriends." I looked at him, wondering what really attracted me. "I was being tipped one hundred dollars every table and every dance I did. I was part time stripper and part time bartender. Liss just stripped most nights. It was how we afforded our life. I didn't mind showing off my body and Liss did it to make the cash." He looked shocked I would do such things. "I have never been shy, I know you have heard rumors about me and I am the only one who knew the truth, and Liss. God, I miss her so much." A few tears made their way down my cheeks. "I will bring her back." I whispered, more to myself than him.

He looked at the door we stood outside of. "I'm going in, take a minute and pull yourself together." He didn't mean it rudely, just so I didn't go in sobbing like the fool I felt I was. I dried my eyes and applied more make-up.

_"You have all the other girls jealous Rose, why do you still compete?" she asked as I readied myself for my solo dance up on stage. We were paid well and we had credit cards from the company saying we could buy anything we needed or wanted. _

_ "I need to be the best Liss." I was a perfectionist when it came to some things, this happened to be one of them. "Why bother if you aren't the best there is? Liss, we are the best, my training and your looks, we are the two best people in this joint." _

_ "Rose, I want to go home, I want to fall in love and be happy. I don't want this." I looked at her._

_ "If we attempt anything they come, we have to keep hiding, just for a little while longer." She sighed defeated, but still put on her costume. I walked out on stage as my name was called._

_ 'CALLING DR. CUMMING'S, CALLING DR. CUMMING'S." I walked down the runway with my usual strut, getting ready to rake in hundreds. _

I took a deep breath, calming my nerves yet again. I held my head high and strutted into the classroom, my heels clicking softly.

"Ms. Hathaway, glad to see you actually showed up." I glared at him, making my way to Eddie and Mason. As I was about to sit his voice rang out. "Ms. Hathaway, will you please come to the front of the room, we are discussing techniques." I froze, turning to him. I walked in at the back of class, right through the last room to my friends.

"Why would you want to know my techniques? They got people killed." Everyone would be talking about me already, let's add on to it.

"Just come up here please, your snide comments will not be necessary." I sighed and walked to the front of the room. I took my time stopping and saying hello to old friends. "Hathaway, up here now." I grinned at Mase and Eddie and rushed up to the front. He turned me towards the class. "Ms. Hathaway, you are marked." I nodded. "Can you tell us why." I nodded.

"I am marked with Moljina marks and a large Zveda." I shrugged, it wasn't anything to be proud of. "I got them while defending myself and the Princessa…" I broke off, as a memory came back.

_ "Roza, you brought us dinner." The twins stepped out. I looked at them in shock, then Nathan walked out behind him. Nathan had been trying to change us for years, the Strogoi community, if you could call it that, wanted us to strengthen their count. I killed everyone who ever tried to get to me. "Princessa Vasilissa, how are you? Big bad Roza protecting you." I growled, grabbing my hand made stake from the holster on my leg. _

_ "She's doing very well, killing you bastards off easily." Lissa growled. She pulled out her stake shooter. We raided, okay I raided a Strogoi hide out stealing the thousands of stakes after killing every one. We had learned if you charm a stake with Spirit and the Spirit user stabs the victim, they change back to human. It also worked for cross bows, changed into stake shooters. _

_ "Liss, I think they've had their fun, let's kill." She nodded, shooting both the twins before they had a chance to react. Nathan laid a note on the ground where he once stood. We picked it up cautiously._

_ 'My beautiful victims,_

_ We are watching. No one place is safe. Look at your boys. _

_ Nathan'_

I pulled away from the memory, seeing everyone staring at me funny. I looked at Stan. "My methods failed and I let them murder the Princess." I went to leave until he called me back.

"Ms. Hathaway, may we see your marks?" I looked back to Dimitri, seeing wonder and curiousity in his eyes, only visible to me. I slowly took of my shirt, revealing a sports bra underneath. Everyone gasped at my back. The Zveda was a star signifying I had lost count, I had it enlarged. It was across the upper part of my back, the swirls thick and black going out into swirls made of Moljina's. My back had all types of pattern's that had been done. They covered me, defining me of who I was. I had my favorite quote and the date Liss died engraved under my heart on my rib cage. "What is this one?" he pointed to the Russian quote and date.

"Death is where the love is. Forever remembered. August twenty fifth." I lovingly stroked the date. Just after my birthday. He pointed to others, the one across my front, a backwards tramp stamp. "That is dedicated to someone I have yet to meet." It was purple and black, said Forever My Love and it had swirls and jags and a black butterfly on the Love. I grabbed my shirt, about to head when he asked another question, one I hated when someone asked.

"What happened to your face?" the class unknowingly leaned foreward, waiting for my answer.

"I got it as a farewell present." My jaw was clenched, my lips tight. I put my shirt back on and threw my hair up in a side pony tail. I was unique to say the least, the things people do for you when you can offer them something dirty. I sat down, my back rigid. I felt Dimitri standing behind me, watching me. Curse those soulful, caring eyes burning holes into my back. Mase leaned over to whisper into my ear.

"You're beautiful." I looked at him, shocked. No one has ever called me beautiful. "A few of us are getting together tonight, wanna join?"

"Sure."

"Great, we have a good supply." I laughed silently.

"Mr. Ashford, will you please shut up?" Stan scolded, making the class go into hysterics. The bell rang shortly after. I could enjoy being back.

I walked into the commons for dinner. I glanced around, no real place to sit. I noticed Christian Ozera. I cautiously walked over to where he was and sat down. He looked up at me shocked, then like every other male he looked me over. "Christian right?" he nodded. I took a bite of the apple I had grabbed from the line.

"Yeah? Rose right?" I nodded and grinned at him. "What are you doing here? Aren't you scared to be seen with the wannabe Strogoi?" I was looking around, but froze when he said those words.

"Chris, I think I couldn't care less about what people think. My best friend's dead and I am way in over my head." He laughed. Don't get me wrong he was cute and all, but he liked Lissa before we left. He always watched from afar, like I hadn't noticed. "I have an idea."

"What?" I looked at him evilly, but grinned none the less.

"I'm telling you because I know the truth, you liked Liss before we left, didn't you?" he looked utterly shocked, but nodded in the end. "She was turned. I can feel her presence on this earth. I need to find a Spirit user and get their help." He looked bewildered.

"We just formally met and you want to go and fight strogoi again?" I nodded.

"It's the only way I can get her back."

"I think I know who you're looking for. I'll take you to him." I nodded. I was glad he was going to help me, even if it wasn't that much.

"I have to get going to practice, but I will see you later Sparky." He growled. I walked away, but not before hearing, "Her back." I sighed, I would be known as this now. I walked into the gym, my bag on my shoulder. I saw Dimitri, sitting and reading.

"Comrade, you're going to work your brain too much." He looked up at me, just pointing to the dressing room.

I changed for the practice and came back out. His jaw dropped at my barely there shorts and barely there bra. I walked to the window, looking out at the track. "We are going to do laps. That's all for today." I nodded, heading out. I immediately took off, running from everything. The memories, the pain of losing her, I hurt in the most painful of ways. I knew Dimitri was struggling to keep up, so I slowed to his pace. He would run a little faster each lap to show me up, but he didn't understand what it was like to run for your life, hell from your life.

I lost track of time while we were running, but my mind kept track of all the laps we had done. We were about to make twenty five miles, I wasn't even breathing heavily. Dimitri was starting to breathe harder though. I stopped as we hit the twenty fifth mile. He slowed down too.

"How can you run so fast?" I looked up at him.

"Dimitri, I have been running for an from my life for three years, you get used to it. By the first year Liss and I could both run fifteen miles no problem. That was when the Strogoi attacked most; we left where we were every week, just to survive. It was harsh but we were able to accomplish so much."

"Rose, why do you tell me these things, why not someone else?"

"Comrade, there's just something about you, I just can't name it."

"I feel the same way Roza." He muttered. I turned towards him.

"I am going out tonight, so I am going to go pick out an outfit." I ran off before he could even get a word out. I rushed to the cabin, not even changing from my current work out outfit. I hopped into the shower, rushing around. I got out, drying myself off hurriedly. I hung up my towel and slid on my thong when the door opened, Dimitri and another Guardian came in. He was Dimitri? I unthinkingly turned around. Dimitri's eyes just about blew out of his head.

"Rose, clothes." I nodded and went back to looking. I chose a white mini skirt and a red mini tank top. I rushed to the bathroom grabbing a bra on the way. It took my seconds to change. I put on my makeup and dried my hair. It was a 'I just had sex' look. I walked out of the bathroom, seeing Dimitri look me over and the other guy as well. "Rose, this is my brother Alik." I shook his hand.

"Hello Roza." His accented voice was almost sweeter than Dimitri's. "As you heard, I'm Alik."he kissed my hand. I looked at them both strangely.

"Are you twins?" Alik and Dimitri looked towards each other. I shook my head, I just walked out to go to Mase's.

I sat there, necking with Mase, my mind still on the two Dimitri's. I was confused to say the least, but that didn't stop me from kissing Mason. We were getting pretty hot, my shirt had somehow disappeared. We all got together earlier. I was stoned and drunk, I could barely see straight. I heard a knocking somewhere. I looked at the door, closing my ears to the loud racket. I stood, stumbling over to the door. I saw Eddie, he came right in.

"I got to go. I have practice tomorrow." Mason nodded, letting me leave. I stumbled my way back to the cabin. I opened the door, hearing it squeak. "It's a mouse." I cracked up laughing, I could barely breathe. I was on the floor, dragging myself back up. I stood, trying to balance myself. I threw myself into my bed, letting sleep take over as soon as my head hit the pillow.

I was falling, I hated these dreams, where you were falling and feeling the rush. The one thing that through me off was the bright light shining in my face, the thing that finally had waken me up. I sat up slowly, head banging and body craving anything and everything. I looked to my side, Dimitri one was next to me and Dimitri two was in his bed. I rolled out of bed, expecting my feet to catch me. They didn't. I hit the floor with a hard thud. "Fuck." I screamed as I tried to pick myself up, only to fall again. I finally got myself up, both boys staring at me with raised eyebrows.

I balanced myself, still feeling woozy. My throat burned ass bile started to come up. I ran to the bathroom throwing up all the contents. I was so going to regret that bottle. I finished up and literally dragged myself to the sink. I scrubbed my teeth, only to go and throw up again. I coughed. I looked at the door, seeing the two men talking in Russian.

"She is pretty, but not bright."

"She's very bright when she actually does something right."

"You fuckers, I will kick your asses if you don't leave." I growled in Russian. We learned the languages in the countries we stayed in; it was a lot to learn. They both just continued to stand there. I threw up again, it felt like the last time. I slowly stood. I walked over to the sink, brushing my teeth until I bled. I rinsed my mouth out, starting to brush again. I finished up and walked out to my bed. I glanced at the time; it was one in the afternoon. I groaned and threw myself onto the bed again. I heard laughter, loud boisterous laughter. I rolled over, seeing Dimitri laced with worry and Alik laughing his ass off. "I need sleep, shut the fuck up." I kicked who I thought was Alik right in the kahuna's, effectively shutting him up. I shut off the light, closing my eyes for the darkness of sleep.

I was falling, yet again. I hit the floor with a thud. "Shit." Someone else groaned. I looked right at Alik. He was frowning, hands on my hips holding me there.

"Well, isn't this a nice surprise." He murmured. I looked at him confusingly.

"Oh shit." I tried to get up, but he held me in place, only rolling us off to the side. I threw up on the wooden floor. I groaned and pushed myself up. Dimitri was laughing at Alik, whom I threw up on. I walked to the bathroom, throwing up in the toilet, again. I groaned, hating this feeling. "Last time I drink Vodka." I choked out before throwing up again. I stopped, ready to get on with my hangover, to the less serious stages. The headache was already creeping into my head. I stood up, going and brushing my teeth again. I sighed, letting out my anger. I saw his reflection in the mirror.

"Hello." His melodic voice rang out. I turned to him, my eyes blood shot. "You look like shit."

"Alik, if I really wanted this I would have asked. I need to go sleep it off." He looked at me partially shocked.

"How did you know it was me?" I laughed.

"I would know Comrade anywhere, your just a sexy plus." He grinned at me.

"So, your skipping school?" I nodded. "Is that possible?" I snorted, but nodded none the less. "What do you want to do then?" I rolled my eyes.

"I am going to go to sleep, sleep of the drugs and alcohol. If that's okay with you." He grinned, walking towards me. He laid his hand on my hip, the other my neck. "Let go." I ground out. He let go, but still approached me.

"I thought you liked me?" I looked at him.

"Alik, I like someone else and I promise you that it isn't you." I snarled. I left the bathroom, going to my bed. I lay down in the thick fabrics, letting the darkness of sleep over come me.

_"Rose I want you to know I really do love you." Lissa said as we stood, surrounded by Strogoi. I looked at her, still leaving my other senses open. _

_ "Liss, I love you too, you're my sister. I promise we will make it out of this." She nodded, raising her cross bow, I raised mine. "Go." I put my hand on the trigger, letting the automatic go over. It only took seconds to take down the twenty Strogoi surrounding us. I looked at Liss and smiled. "Shoot at anything that moves, remember that nothing but us are living." She nodded. I knew this was tough on her. "Liss, it isn't killing if they are already dead." She nodded sadly, hurt at the thought taking a life. "You're setting them free, free to go to heaven from the hell they are living." She smiled slightly, liking that thought, she was a savior. _

_ I took a deep breath, walking towards the exit, the last thing until we would be free once more. I opened the door to sunlight, bursting through the large doors. Liss smiled at me, going first like always. I once told her we were special, we were. We saved Strogoi and set them free. We were saviors. We let the sun beat down onto our bodies. I looked at her. "Rose, we truly are special. We avoid death so easily." Until fate claims one of us. I can't believe what I just thought. "We have a shift to get to." I nodded, ready to move on. _

_ "Dr. Cummings is supposed to dance tonight." She laughed at the name they have given me, she was Nurse Kitty who loved to play with Dr. Cummings._

I opened my eyes, looking at the ceiling. I traced the patterns with my eyes. I sat up, glancing at the clock. School was just about over. I felt better too. I stood and went to change. I put on my shorts and sports bra for practice with Dimitri. Alik was nowhere to be seen, thank god. He was hot, yes and amazingly cocky, but I liked Comrade even though I shouldn't. I ran to the gym, earning a wolf whistle from Jesse Zeklos and Mase. Guys, such horn dogs. I entered the gym, seeing Dimitri and Alik standing side by side in matching outfits.

I approached Dimitri, "Why is he here?" he cocked an eye brow, just like Alik.

"Roza, shall we begin?" I looked at Alik, almost thinking he was Dimitri. I looked back at the supposed Dimitri.

"Comrade, why is Alik here?" I was seriously starting to get annoyed.

"He's here, because he told me you were sleeping off the drugs and alcohol you put into your system last night." Alik spoke. I glared at him.

"I thought you would have learned not to piss me off by now." He raised an eyebrow. "This morning, when I woke up and landed on you? Ring a bell? You followed me into the bathroom after Dimitri left?" he looked at me with a guardian face, Dimitri just stood there, smirking. "I am going out to the track, meet me out there if you want to join." I looked straight at Dimitri, he nodded once. I grabbed my iPod and left. I stood on the large track, setting myself a timer for three hours. I clicked play, letting the music become me. I took off running.

I just ran listening to the music, letting it flow through me. I ran for two and a half hours before THE song came on. I listened to the music, running faster and faster as it went on. I sang the last chorus, letting my feelings free.

"Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend somewhere along in the bitterness and I would have stayed up with you all night had I known how to save a life." The song ended, me off beat saying the last five words too late. "How to save a life." I whispered. That song always pained me. You don't even know how much I questioned what I did wrong, what I did to deserve this pain. I shook my head, finishing running my three hours. I let the timer beep, still going on. I was half way through a mile and I wasn't going to stop until I hit a full.

I walked into the gym, barely sweating, breathing evenly. I let my eyes roam. The boys were talking in the back room. I went over to the weights, lifting until they stopped bickering. I was drifting in my own world, never expecting anything strange to happen. The sun had risen apparently. I put the weights down, standing up to stretch.

"Rose." I looked up meeting those jade eyes. I backed away. "You came back without me." She looked all teary eyed.

"Liss." I whispered.


	3. Ruined :

**Guys,**

** I am going to update often, this story popped up. Please update and read my other story, I found you, it's VA too. Sorry if this sounds a little rushed, i am just getting into this story. I will update my other one soon. Review please!**

** Forever,**

** Lizzi**

* * *

><p>"Rose." I looked up meeting those jade eyes. I backed away. "You came back without me." She looked all teary eyed.<p>

"Liss." I whispered.

* * *

><p>I couldn't believe who I was seeing. I looked at her, tears springing to my eyes. "You aren't real, I watched you die." I whispered. I heard the boys yelling at each other still. She walked towards me, I instantly took a step back.<p>

"You're afraid of me." I looked away from her. "You're afraid of your best friend." I looked at her, seeing the pain those eyes held. "Dr. Cummings." I laughed at that, it was almost a hysterical laugh.

"Nurse Kitty." She smiled at me, a small happy smile. "How are you here?" she looked at me sadly.

"I don't know, I only remember waking up in the sun." I took a shaky breath in. She wasn't real, I had to be imagining this. "I was scared, so I tried to crawl to a shadow. It took me about five minutes and I should have been dead as soon as I woke up, even before that." She took another step towards me. "I have the magic again."

"Liss, you should be dead or killing people." She winced at my words of choice.

"It wasn't me that killed them." She hung her head. "It wasn't me." I took a step forward reaching out for her. She looked up at me, sadly. She flung herself into my arms. "Rose, I am so sorry. I shouldn't have followed you. I should have let you go on your own." She sobbed into my shoulder. I held her close, never wanting to let her go. "Rose, please forgive me." I looked her in the eyes.

"There is nothing to forgive, I should have been more careful." She hugged me again. "I don't know what to do now though." She nodded. "Only Oskana, Mark, and us know about changing Strogoi back."

"Rose," her voice had something new in her voice. I looked at her questioningly. "Who's hottie number 1 and hottie number 2?" I glanced to where she was staring only now noticing the twins staring at us. She was speaking Russian. "Are they yo-" I covered her mouth.

"They are Russian." I was speaking Russian too, damn. I looked over at them. "No, they aren't mine, but I do want one of them." I switched to Turkish. She laughed.

"Can I have the other?" I shook my head. Christian liked her. "Wow, you want them both, that'll be hot in bed." We decided to speak English apparently. Well damn.

I gaped at her. "Liss, right there." She laughed again. "Go to the outer cabin, you know where that is right?" she nodded. "Alik will go with you." Alik stepped forward, offering her his arm. They left quietly. I looked over at Dimitri. "What were you two fighting about?"

"He is still very immature. He wanted to try to fool you." I laughed. He quirked his eyebrow.

"He could never pull you off." I murmured walking right up next to him.

"How do you know?" I looked at him and smiled.

"I know you, I see you." I tried to leave out the fact that, I wanted him not Alik, I failed. "I want you, not him." My cheeks were on fire as his eyes ignited. "Dimitri, let's stop playing games." He nodded. He pulled me closer to him, his lips moving to mine, stopping a hair's length away.

"Are you sure?" he asked, his lips brushing against mine.

"Dimitri?" he met my eyes. "Why won't you kiss me?" he looked at me shocked, startled. I let my hand slide into his long soft hair. He watched me, slowly letting his arms travel around my waist, holding me too him. Our lips are just barely touching. "Dimitri, kiss me." He didn't hesitate. His lips crashed against mine, I moaned as his tongue slid against my lower lip.

* * *

><p>"Rose." Someone yelled. I opened my eyes, shooting up. I ran a hand through my sweaty hair and over my now sweat covered face. I looked at Dimitri and Alik. Their faces held so much worry. I was barely breathing. It all made sense now.<p>

"Lissa." I whispered as my tears fell, finally reeling from everything that had happened. I held my knees to my chest. I wish it would have been me. "I want it to be me." I cried softly. I let my tears take over my being. I have never been so weak before, I could always hold it back. It was all a dream, Liss and me. Dimitri and me. I wiped away my tears hastily. I took in deep breaths. "What time is it?"

"Midday." Alik answered. I nodded hastily, running my hand through my hair again. I crawled out of bed.

"I am," I literally shook. "I, uh, I, um, I am going to go…" I trailed off pointing at the door. "I just have to go." I grabbed my gym bag, iPod and sneakers. I ran out, leaving both boys behind. I knew I shouldn't be out, but I would say Dimitri sent me to do laps. I stood on the track, the one place I felt safe anymore. I shook out my hands, grabbing my iPod and starting my run.

To me the track gave me a chance to run away from my problems without actually running away from them. It meant so much to me to be able to protect Liss. I couldn't do it though, could I? Lissa appeared on the track, see through. I felt her. It was her soul. I ran faster passing her, watching her turn and reach out to me. I ran as fast as I could, as far as I could. She was showing up everywhere reaching out to me, asking, and begging for help. I was crying by the third time I passed her. I was barely breathing. I was trying to get a grasp on reality. I didn't have a grasp. I ran even faster, closing my eyes. I didn't stop, didn't slow down. I only gained speed.

**_"Rose, you have Strogoi speed." Liss exclaimed. I laughed. We were at the local high school, running. We were attempting to increase our speed and strength. We were actually getting stronger each day. Liss was used to the sun, could block it out with Spirit._**

**_ "Lissa that is such an exaggeration." I rolled my eyes, trying to keep the smile off of my face. She grinned at me, putting down the timer. She joined me on the main line, the starting line. "Fifteen miles?" She nodded._**

**_ "Do you think I will be able to keep up with you?" I looked at her, taken aback._**

_** "Of course, even if you don't I won't let you fail. You know that." She nodded. We hugged each other, than stood on the starting line. "Go." We took off running. We were laughing by the tenth mile. That was one of my favorite memories.** _

I wiped away a silent tear, opening my eyes. I saw the finish line coming up and fast. I also saw Sparky sitting under the pavilion waiting for me to finish. I slowed down, jogging over to him. "We are going on a ski trip in two months. You will meet the Spirit user then." I nodded, smiling.

"Christian?" he turned back to me. "Thank you." He smiled a nice smile, not the snarky one he usually plastered on his face. He walked away, tired of the heat. It was supposed to get cold fast in the next week. I walked back over to the track, checking the time. I had three hours before my session with Dimitri, I had been running for almost five hours. I looked up. I regretted it instantly. Liss stood in front of me, reaching and grabbing my arm. She looked into my eyes, speaking millions. Then she really did speak. "Change me."

"Liss, I promise I will change you back." She smiled, letting my arm go, disappearing all together. I walked back to the cabin, thinking about Liss.

_**"How do we know it will work?" I looked at her.**_

**_ "We don't not until we try. Oskana taught us how to control the magic and bring it in." she nodded nervously. "Liss, we will take care of it, think about how much we can help the souls that were kicked out of their body?" _**

**_ "What if I go mad?" _**

**_ "I won't let you." _**

**_ "You promise?" _**

**_ "I promise." I pulled her into a hug, a tight warming hug._**

I entered the cabin, still lost in memories. I walked over to my shower things. I grabbed them, walking to the shower. I knew that Dimitri had a shift before practice every morning and Alik just disappeared. I stopped caring where he went every morning. I let the hot water crash down over me.

**_"Fuck!" I screeched. _**

**_ "Rose, what happened?" Liss came rushing down the stairs. _**

**_ "The water's to damn hot." She sighed._**

**_ "I told you it was." I pouted, going to get ice to attempt to cool my burn, and then I remembered. "Let me." She laid her hand on mine, feeling the usual tingle I did whenever she healed me, which was often. _**

**_ "Thanks."_**

**_ "I won't let you get hurt. You can't leave me alone to fight."_**

_** "I will never leave you Liss."** _

I did, I left her with the Strogoi who killed her. I finished up in the shower. I got out and went to the closet, a towel wrapped around me. I pulled out a flannel shirt that fit me perfectly, rising a little so you could see my stomach. I remember the day I bought this.

_**"Rose, you look so hot. You have to get it. The club's buying everything we want." I looked in the mirror again. It did make me look pretty hot. "Oh, and the skirt too." I laughed. It was a mini skirt with a hooker cowgirl shirt.** _

I sighed at the wonderful memories. I slid on my clothes. I was amazed it still fit; I had bigger boobs than I did then. I stood in front of the mirror, grabbing my black matching cow girl boots. I had to say I was hot in everything. I grabbed my gym bag, heading out to meet Dimitri. I listened to my music, walking slowly. I had at least ten minutes, I think. I got there quicker than I thought I would. I walked in, looking around for any sign of Dimitri. "Comrade, I'm here." I called. Alik walked out, he came right to me, kissing me. Our lips moved as one. I froze, knowing it wasn't Dimitri. He pulled away.

"Roza, what's the matter?" I looked at him.

"You're not the one I want to be kissing." I growled. "You're not him."

"Not who?" he asked innocently. In his eyes there was lust. There was no trust, honesty, or care.

"Not Dimitri." I growled.

"Why do you think I am not me?" I looked at him.

"Alik, you are not going to be able to fool me, give up." I looked around quickly. "Where's Dimitri anyway?"

"He told me he would be ten minutes late so I could try what I wanted." I sighed heavily.

"I am going to go change then." I walked over to the changing rooms. "Don't follow me." He grinned. I turned the corner, staying there. Listening to see what Alik did next.

"She didn't fall for it…" there was a brief pause. "I even kissed her… yes I know she is yours… because I can." He snapped the phone shut. "Roza, I have a meeting to go to, I will see you later."

"Okay." I called. I slowly stripped out of my clothes, my muscles hurting a little. I looked into the large mirror covering the wall. I placed my hand to my lips, touching my bottom lip softly. He kissed me, he shouldn't have, but he did. I slipped off my bra, changing into my training bra and a wife beater. I wasn't going as fast as I should have, but oh well. I wasn't caring, until Dimitri stormed in. I froze, gaping at him. I was so hoping the reception I got from Alik. Please, please God. I begged silently.

He pushed me against the mirror. "What were you thinking, kissing a guardian?" he asked darkly.

"Are you really that mad I kissed him?" I traced a finger down his chest. His breath hitched slightly.

"Yes." He breathed.

"Or, are you mad I didn't kiss…" I moved my mouth close to his. "You." He went to move in closer, but I stepped under his arm. I walked over to my shorts, sliding them on slowly. I just got them over my butt when he grabbed my arm, turning me towards him.

"Do not question the people you obey." I moved closer to him.

"Do I obey you? Do I really?" I whispered against his lips. He growled. I smiled. I moved a little closer to touch his lips a little bit more. "Dimitri, don't you want me?" he looked at me through lust hazed eyes.

"Yes." He murmured before crashing his lips to mine. He held me to him, his tongue fighting mine. I groaned into him. He was amazing, not even compared to previous boyfriends. It was over way to soon. He pulled away. "Roza, you obey me." He walked out; leaving me slumped on the floor like a mushy marshmallow. I gathered myself, exiting the dressing room to find Dimitri staring out the window. I walked up behind him.

"No Dimitri." He froze. "You obey me." He turned towards me staring at me, raised eyebrow and all. I slid my finger all the way down his chest, stopping right above his sweats. "Don't forget it." We got to work.

* * *

><p>The next two months went like this. I went to practice and did everything I had to. I didn't get high again, okay that's a lie. Sadly, I didn't kiss Dimitri other than twice. I was dating Mason and we had our own gang. We hung out a lot. We were best friends. We had two days until our trip. My gang spent Christmas with each other, Christian's Aunt Tasha, my mom, Alik, and Dimitri. I was alone in the gym, lifting weights. I planned to spend the next two days alone until the trip.<p>

I was getting up higher in the number I could lift. It felt like what I went through every day, lifting the weight on my shoulders, hoping it'll stay away. I hated the pain I carried, but it was always there, never leaving, just haunting me. I cleared my thoughts going back to the few things I now had. I had Mason, who I didn't appreciate. I have Dimitri, who I wish I could appreciate the way I would like. I needed to clear my head. Mason wanted me to spend the day with them, but I wasn't really up for it. I was in pretty bad shape. I was drunk, and stoned and a few other things I can't say.

I stood up, going to the dummies set up. I stood in front of the blonde male. He looked just like Nathan, I will kill him. I promised to myself. I got at it, just hitting and hitting. I never stopped working out until my body burned and it took a lot to do that. I was covered in sweat. I would so need a shower after this. I haven't slept a lot in the last two months, always buzzed, and always running, always falling deeper.

I eventually stopped my assault on the Nathan look alike, I had too though. It broke. I was pissed off still, to say the least. I decided to take a break, to go running. I never went running in more than I needed to go in. I had on a thick red hoodie and baggie sweats. If I was in the human world again, I would be considered fat beyond belief in this hoodie. I put in my ear buds and got started. Once I start, I don't stop.

When I did stop, it was because Mason was calling for me. I ran over to him. "Hey." I said, slightly out of breath, but not all the way out of breath.

"Did you know that we have been calling for you for the past half hour and before that we were watching you?" I looked at him weirdly.

"Why?"

"Everyone wanted to see you, Tasha wanted to be introduced."

"Oh, what time is it?"

"Almost sunrise."

"Oh, well shit."

"Why?"

"I have been running for almost five hours." He looked at me strangely. "What?" I asked as we entered the gym.

"How can you run so long?"

"I just can, I have been running for my life for three years."

"How many miles did you run?" I pulled out my speedometer. I gaped at the number.

"Forty." I could have done more. We walked over to where the party was socializing. I stripped off my jacket, revealing a tight purple tee underneath, it matched my black sweats. The shirt ended just so you could see my belly ring. A girl that looked just like Christian stepped forward with her hand on MY Dimitri, I didn't like her already.

"Hello." She held out her hand, I slowly shook it. I loved see the shock as my ice hand hit her warm one. "My name is Tasha Ozera."

"Rosemarie Hathaway, people only call me Rosemarie when they want to die."

"What would you like to be called then?" she laughed.

"Rose." I said simply. I just stood there while everyone talked. I wanted to go back out and run some more. "I heard you recently got back." She spoke to me later on, the twins on her sides.

"Two months ago." I watched Dimitri from the corner of my eye.

"Can you tell me about your time away?"

"What do you want to know?"

"Where all did you go?"

"Any place we could, mostly Russia and lower Australia. We spent some time in the US though too."

"What did you do for money?" I looked at her judging if she could handle the truth. I smiled at her.

"Prostitution." She just looked at me judging whether to believe me or not. She laughed after a minute, an 'I got it laugh'.

"Good one." I smiled at her again.

"Thanks." I looked past her, at the sunrise. "I am going to go finish my run."

"Okay, it was a pleasure to meet you."

"You too."

"Rose, you don't have to work every day." I looked at Dimitri. I didn't think my eyes showed that much. They weren't bloodshot, just hooded. Perfectly hidden.

"Yes I do." I whispered.

"Can we talk?" he asked.

"No. I'm going back to the cabin, I'll see to you later."

"You changed your mind about the run?"

"Yes." I walked away from him, what was I thinking? He could have a life with Tasha, not with me. I sighed, disappointment filling me yet again. This was a sucky day. I was tired of disappointment; I just wanted happiness to fill me like it did when I kissed Dimitiri. I entered the cabin and went right for my stash. I took out my *******. I slowly rolled it up, waiting for the strong familiar buzz. I quickly headed out to the back of the cabin. I lit it, letting it go into me. I needed this relief, this sense of belonging.

I sighed as I finished up. I walked back around to the front of the cabin and entered it slowly. I needed a shower to get the sweat off my body… and the smell of illegal substances. I slowly stepped under the shower, letting the water burn holes into my back. It was almost painless now. I liked the pain it caused. _What have you become?_ Someone sick and twisted. I hated arguing with myself at times, they said it was the first sign of insanity. Oh well.

* * *

><p>I was tired, yet I didn't want to sleep. The sun was up and Dimitri and Alik weren't back yet. I made a fire, since the days were to cold. It was always cold enough to feel your insides churn. It was an almost painful cold. I had nothing to do. I thought about what would be fun, but instead I did the last thing I expected I would do. I went over to my bed and pulled out the boxes from underneath it, looking at the tag, '<em>Our time in Russia'<em>.

I slowly opened the lid, seeing all the memories, they hit me hard. I pulled out the one from our times stripping. I looked at the biggest picture, it was probably 12 by 14. It had Lissa and me on stage in our doctor uniforms. A sob was building within me. Liss and I were bent backwards as two hot Russians slid hundred dollar bills into our breasts. The guy that paid me also ordered me for after my shift. That made me laugh, he did a lot of things to me that weren't exactly predicted. I set down the photo and went to the next. The twins and us on their laps, we were dramatically posed. I missed that life, the happiness I felt then. The next one would be my last I would look at. I picked it up, looking at Liss and me in front of this gorgeous Church. We had our hands put together, making hearts. I smiled, letting the tears flow down my cheeks. I held it to my chest, sobbing.

I tried to control myself. I looked back at the picture. "We were so happy." I whispered touching Liss's face. I took in a shaky breath. I set the picture back in the tub full of our faces. I slid it back under my bed and let the bed draper hang over the boxes. I sat on my bed. I felt the tears that had dried onto my face. I lay back, my head hitting my thousands of pillows. I pulled my covers up over my body, hoping sleep will come.

I was almost asleep, until the door flew open. I sat up and glared in the direction of the door. "Roza?" I gulped at his voice. I shouldn't be feeling these things. "You're still awake?" I nodded. He walked over to my bed and sat down. "I should have been quieter."

"Yeah, you should have been." I joked.

"Sorry." He laughed.

"It's okay." I looked into those deep eyes, their chocolate brown depths. He tucked a stray hair behind my ear. I grabbed his hand. His eyes were so mesmerizing. His hand wrapped around mine, the other going up to my hair. He knotted his hand in my hair. He looked at me with so much care, so much need. I leaned forward, mesmerized by his eyes. He leaned closer too. Our lips touched, brushing softly. I sighed at the contact. I couldn't take it anymore, I let my hand go into his hair and yank him to me.

Our lips moved together, slowly at first, gaining speed and this uncontrollable need to have one another. His lips were so soft, and his tongue? Amazing, the way he fought mine with so much passion. I pulled him further, with me into the soft covers. He positioned himself under the blankets with me, our mouths never separating from each other. This is what I have been waiting for, for two months. His body was pressed right to mine. My body was on fire, I needed this contact. He pulled away, looking into my eyes. "Roza." I put my finger against his lips.

"Kiss me." I pleaded. I couldn't lose him, not now. He kissed me again, this one long and menacing. I groaned. I felt him against me. I was pathetically needing more of him. I took off his shirt, him taking mine off. We alternated, taking each other's clothes off. He nipped at my neck, marking me as his. I moaned out as he bit my shoulder. He fumbled with my bra, I bit his shoulder, making sure to leave teeth mark. I wanted that bitch Tasha to know he was mine. He slid down the straps, kissing the top of my breast.

"Dimitri." We pushed away from each other, looking at Alik standing in the door way in shock. I growled.

"Are you fucking serious?" I growled out at him.

I held the covers to my body as Alik shut the door giving us a minute to separate ourselves. He put on his clothes, kissing me quickly. "We couldn't have any way."


	4. Teach me

Okay, I was packed getting ready to go. I had my stuff packed, everything I thought I would need. I was still pissed over the fact of Alik charging in. He could have knocked. _He's staying there too._ I don't care. It was Dimitri and mine first, he can't just show up wherever he wishes. _You really hate him that much?_ No, I can't hate someone that looks like Dimitri, but I do hat his part where he comes in whenever Dimitri and I are getting close. Dimitri was obviously jealous when Alik kissed me, and I guess that made Alik think he had a shot, but he doesn't. _What about Mason?_ Who?

"Rose, Rose?" I zoned in on the hand in front of my face. I looked at Mia and Eddie.

"Huh?" they rolled their eyes at my confused face. I looked around me. I'm on a plane? Oh, yeah, the trip. I still had two hours though. I looked at my cell. Okay, we would be taking off in two minutes. I don't remember how I got on the plane, but I did somehow. Oh well, another worry for another day. "So."

"You were pretty out of it, we thought something was up." Chris explained. We didn't get along a hundred percent of the time, but we were close, like siblings.

"Something you want to tell us?" Mase asked. I looked at him, smiling.

"Like?" he sighed.

"How much did you take?" he gave me a bottle of pills earlier, not sure what they were I took four. I shouldn't have, but I did. Like I explained to myself over and over, they are what keep me going.

"Four." He shook his head in disappointment. "Don't judge." I pleaded. I hated that the one person who was supposed to care for me judged me. That killed part of me inside. He took my hand in his, giving it a nice firm squeeze. I didn't return it. "Mase, I think we should go on trial basis." He looked at me weirdly. "I don't know if I am ready to care for someone else yet."

"Trial basis." He sounded it out. I knew he wasn't happy about it, but I wasn't ready to tell him the truth or actually try to love him, when I was pretty sure I was really starting to care for Dimitri. I just didn't know if I should risk it and hurt Mase that much. "Okay…"

"Just give me time."

_"Just give me time?" Lissa asked incredulously. "You don't tell a land lord that." She screamed at me._

_ "I will have it by the end of my shift tonight." She looked skeptical. "You have the night off. I will have it don't worry." _

_ "I hope." I gave her a hug, running out to catch my next high, my next customer. I wish I didn't have to do this, I wish I didn't have to keep this from her._

"I will." He still held my hand, picking it up to his lips, kissing the inside of my palm lightly. I went back and sat next to Dimitri. He looked at me in question. We were three seats away from the rest of the gang.

"Hey." He chuckled at my statement.

"Hello." I smiled at him.

"When I met Tasha," I said her name with spite. "Did you think my joke was funny?" he looked at me, remembering what I said.

"I didn't know you were joking." I looked at him closely.

"I can't hide much from you can I?" I asked quietly. "I wasn't joking. I had to do what I had to. We needed money and I had to or we would have been in a home." He had on his Guardian mask, showing no emotion. I saw through it though. I saw how he actually was saddened that I had to do that, that I was that person. "The guy I worked for, he was my first. His name was Sasha Nikitin. He told me he wanted to 'break' me in. I wanted out as soon as he said that, but the guards knew my face. I am not stupid about this kind of thing. Someone worked there and told me; once I am in I won't get out. I had Liss use a charm Oskana taught her. It slurred our faces, but kept our bodies. Well, she enhanced hers." I wiped away a tear. "They didn't want the model types."

"Rose." I looked at him. "Where was this place called you worked?"

"Озорной Китти." His eyes widened.

"They have you?" I shook my head.

"The next person I am with won't be because someone chose me off a creep's menu, it'll be because I love them." That promise was more to myself than anyone else. I glanced out the window, looking at the trees beneath us. "I started out at a bar as a bartender, slowly making my way up to stripper. I know, what an accomplishment. We moved away from that area, going to the next city. I starred as the head stripper, since I was so 'developed' and 'broken in'." I hated my past, I hated that it truly destroyed who I could have been, who I was. "I hate it." The gang and Alik were all laughing, happy.

"Why didn't you just stay as a bartender?" he asked. I looked at him sadly.

"Sasha spre-"

"Rose?" I turned, looking up to the girl standing behind me. "I am supposed to give this to you." She handed me a red letter with black cursive on the top. I ripped the top of the letter open. I slid out the black letter. The blood red cursive standing out against the black envelope, it was Lissa's hand writing. I stood up.

"Thank you." The girl nodded and left. "I have to pee." I rushed to the bathroom. I slowly opened the letter.

_Rosie, _

_ I have missed you so. My memories have invaded my mind for the past year. I wish I were standing with you when you read this, so you understand I am not dead. I cannot wait until you join Nathan and me I am so powerful, I control the Strogoi. I am heartless, empty and I have to say that I love it. I don't have to strip or do what you did to take care of me. I want to thank you for taking care of me while I was alive, but let me take care of you now. Join me. I will even let you new toy join us too. The only real worry I have about this, is you know the truth. You saw my soul, you are going to attempt to let my soul back in. I can feel it you know? My soul lurking around me, near me, it is always waiting for a chance to come back in. I am waiting for you. I will see you on the slopes, I miss you. _

_ I will see you soon._

_ Forever,_

_ Lissa._

I let my tears fall, why did it have to be this way? I kept my sobs silent, but on the inside I was screaming. I wanted anything to take away the pain this brought back to me. I didn't even allow myself to think of what she would look like as a Strogoi; that would be my undoing. I already wanted death, why give in to it now? I slowed my sobs, attempting to take deep breaths to keep my breathing even. I felt like someone was squeezing my heart, my lungs, and they wouldn't let go. I pulled my hair up into a messy bun. I washed my face, trying to erase the pain I was feeling. A knock came to the door.

"Yeah?" I called, my voice course and scratchy.

"Roza." Dimitri's voice broke through the door. "Are you alright?" I opened the door. I pulled him in there with me. He looked shocked, but I handed him the note before he thought anything. I looked into the mirror, attempting to fix my makeup. My eyeliner was smudged beyond belief. I grabbed a piece of toilet paper, wiping under my eyes. I was content with my eyeliners condition, and then I moved onto my top lid. "Roza."

"I knew she was alive." I looked at him through the mirror. "She's waiting for me. This week I am to meet a spirit user Christian knows. He would learn to charm a stake with Spirit and then he would shoot a stake into her heart. I was to teach him how to do it." I rubbed my other eye. I sighed, looking at my reflection.

_"Your makeup is a wreck, what happened?" I had just gotten home from my first night of extra money making. Sasha had broken my Virginal skin, snapping it. I had cried as he screwed me, I was stuck between hunger and hatred. _

_ "Sasha spilled coffee on me and I cried." That was the lamest attempt at an excuse._

_ "Really?" she asked skeptical._

_ "He ruined one of my best shirts." I shrugged. She didn't believe me and she didn't want to know what really happened. "I'm going to bed." She nodded, turning back to her homework. _

"Roza, you can't change her back." I looked at him, blank face.

"Yes, I can and I will. Oskana said it to me once and I didn't believe it was possible. I found out the hard way. Lissa's first staking was so beautiful, the white light surrounded this man. He was a human. I wish it could be me turning her back, but it can't be me." I watched him through the mirror. His eyes running over my exposed shoulders and neck.

"Would you want to be brought back after a year of killing people?"

"I would want to be brought back. If I couldn't be brought back I would want someone I cared about to kill me, take away the burden I had become."

"You have thought about this." I turned to him. The small space was starting to get to me. We were right up against each other, it was driving my body wild.

"When you almost die every day for three years, it starts to get to you." He looked sad for me. He tucked a strand of my hair behind my ear. His hand lingered on my skin. "When they bite into you, you just can't help the thoughts that come to you." I whispered.

"I'm sorry you had to go through that." I smiled up at him.

"If I didn't she would still be alive, but you have to remember. Memento mori oportet."

"What does it mean?" he whispered.

"Помните, вы должны умереть." He looked at me sadly, knowing the translation. "You can't escape fate, you will be whatever it decides for you to be." He smiled.

"You are wiser than a lot of people twice your age." I laughed at that.

"Are you trying to say that I am wiser than you?" he smiled widely at me. The action made my inside bubble in the best way. "I think you are."

"Definitely not." He whispered, his mouth coming closer to mine.

"You should share your knowledge with me then." I whispered pulling him closer. My hand went into his hair, holding him to me.

"Like?" his voice was deeper, his accent thicker. He was turned on. I could feel and hear that.

"Maybe improve some of my skills." I said against his lips. "I think you should help me practice." I said. I kissed him. Our lips moved together. His tongue entered my mouth. I was getting insatiable with him. I didn't even have to want him sexually, I just wanted him near me. His hand went into my hair, holding me to him like I was doing with him. His other hand went to my lower back, gripping me.

We didn't need sex, just each other. He lifted me onto the counter, my legs wrapping around his waist. He kissed his way down my jaw line, my neck to my shoulder and back up. I moaned as he kissed my pulse point. He pulled back to look at me. He traced my jaw, making me smile. I could get lost in his eyes at times. "Roza." He breathed. I put my finger to his lips, kissing his lips softly.

He kissed me back softly. I sighed at the gesture. He kissed at my neck again. Somewhere in my mind, knocking registered. I growled. "Occupied." I called.

"Rose, what are you doing in there?" Alik asked. I groaned. I pushed Dimitri away and grabbed the letter. I opened the door, not caring that Alik could see Dimitri.

"You have the worst fucking timing." I stormed out of the bathroom to the gang. I sat down next to Christian. "Are you going with me to the Spirit user?" he looked at me.

"If you want." I nodded.

"It will be the first time I have talked to someone about Spirit since Liss." He looked at me sympathetically. "Christian, you've been a good friend. Even when we don't get along." He chuckled. I went back to my seat, closing my eyes to await our landing. I was captured by a dream walker. I looked around, watching the scene around us bloom. It was our first club. The bar tables, all the men. The scene went on. It was me out there stripping, Sasha taking 'orders'. I saw Liss sitting at the far table near Sasha. I walked over the scuffed floor. I avoided all the men that were reaching forward to touch. It took me forever, but I eventually reached Liss. I slid onto the stool next to her.

"You looked so stoic." She whispered. I looked at my old form. I was bent over towards a man, smiling as he slid a fifty into my bra cup. If you knew me you could see the pain behind my eyes, the hatred I felt towards myself. "I never go how you had so much confidence."

"I didn't I just knew how to act." She smiled at that.

"I never liked working here. Sasha followed us everywhere throughout Russia. He made the appointments and you showed up to make a buck." I looked at her.

"Did you know?" she shook her head. "I'm sorry I did it too."

"You did what you had to, I understand. I just wish you would have told me."

"I couldn't, he threatened to bring you into this." She looked painfully away.

"I wouldn't have cared." I looked at her.

"Yes you would have." She let a tear fall. She swiped it away.

"Bring me back." She begged.

"I will even if it kills me." She laughed a hysterical laugh. "Is this real?"

"My soul, what I am now. I can call dreams, do what my powers did." I nodded.

"Liss, I miss you so much."

"I know, it will all be over soon. We will be close again. We will be happy." She promised.

"I hope." The scene started to fade.

"You are waking, I will see you again." I waved good bye.

I opened my eyes slowly. I saw Dimitri calling me. I looked around, seeing the students exiting the plane around me. "We are here Roza." I sighed. Looking at the letter in my hand. This week would be the week I got my best friend back. I stood and walked off with Dimitri, planning my revenge.

MIDNIGHT THAT NIGHT:::::

"I will so crush you Hathaway." Mason yelled. I laughed as we hit the slopes. We were going pretty fast on a trail that wasn't safe at night. Oh well, we can heal. I hit the bottom first. I unhooked my boots, cheering and dancing as Mase finally finished. "I wasn't ready." He argued.

"Oh Ashford, I completely creamed you." He frowned. "I win." He scowled.

"Ready for the next one?" he challenged.

"Rose, he arrived." I looked at Christian.

"Okay." He waited as I picked up my skis. I looked back at Mase. "Stop by my room around noon." He nodded looking a little angry. "Bye." I winked at him. I like Mason, a lot, but not the way he wants me too. I followed Christian, dropping off my skis at the rental place. "Where are we meeting him?"

"His room." He led me, almost angrily towards guest rooming. It was where the royals stayed. We came to his door, Chris knocking. A boy, early twenties, possibly late teens answered the door. He moved aside to let us in. We walked in, the boy slammed the door shut. "This is Adrian Ivashkov. Adrian this is the Rosemarie Hathaway but call her Rose unless you want to lose your balls." Adrian laughed. Where have I heard his name before? Where have I seen him?

"He's that drunk that sleeps around." I said angrily. "He can't do Spirit."

"Hey, I take offense Little Dhampir. I only drink to keep the darkness away." I looked at him skeptically.

"Have you drunk any today?"

"No, Christian told me not too." I nodded. I led him over to a plant. I grabbed his hand and put it over a brown leaf on a house plant.

"Someone you care about is dying-"

"Who?" I sighed.

"I don't care choose someone. They are dying and you can heal them, but you have two seconds."

"Why two?"

"Okay, different scenario." I pulled out a pocket knife and sliced my arm. He grabbed the knife from me, laying his hand on the cut. I felt the tingle of magic. He pulled his hand away, looking at my arm in shock.

"I didn't know I could do that." He whispered.

"What do you know that you can do?"

"Dream walk, compulsion, and now healing." I nodded.

"Do you want to do more?" he looked hesitant.

"What else is there?"

"You can make people see something that isn't there, mind control, charm silver with it, and bring back Strogoi." He gaped at me. "You can do way more, but I am only concerned with the charm making."

"You are a Dhampir, how do you know these things?"

"Vasilissa Dragomir was a Spirit user. I need your help to bring her back." He just watched me.

"I don't like being sober."

"You have to stay sober, stop drug use and I can teach you so much."

"Why should I say yes?"

"I know a way to keep the darkness away. If you help me I will tell you the way to be away from abusive substances." He looked torn between yes and no. "I will give you a day to think about it." I wrote down my room number and where he could most likely find me and my cell number. "I will see you soon." I led Christian out, we walked towards the lobby.

"Do you think he will agree?" I looked at Chris out of the corner of my eye.

"Three, two…"

"Rose." Adrian called. We stopped by the elevator.

"He wants control, he wants power, of course he will say yes." I told Chris as Adrian strode after us.

"How do you know any of this will work?"

"Lissa changed hundreds of Strogoi back and as for the darkness control, Liss did it to help her." He nodded.

"I can be sane?" I laughed a musical laugh.

"Of course you can be."

"Then, teach me."


	5. Another Interruption

"Meet me in my room tomorrow. Christian will join us." I gave him a card with all the information he would need. I looked at Chris. "I'll see you later okay?" he nodded. I ran back to my room. I stood at the window, watching the Moroi ski. I'm not sure how long I stood there, but I felt frozen. I felt my usual depression creeping into my mind, my body again. I glanced at my bag, my untouched prescription of antidepressants. I use illegal substances instead of the pills, because one fades, the other gives me a permanent numbness. I'll give you a hint: the pills are a temporary solution. I walked over to my bag, I pulled out every illegal drug. To help Liss I have to stop. I grabbed the liquids, powders, everything. I dumped them into the toilet. I did little increments, so not to clog the toilet. I started with the heroin. I poured little doses into the toilet.

I stopped when I got to two good shots left. I could finish it then be done. I filled my needle, sticking it into the vein. I looked back at the toilet, I pushed down. It entered my system quickly. I did the second shot. I was a mess, yeah I know. I wanted to cry. I threw out the baggie. I sat down on the bed, relishing in my own high. I looked at the four baggies left. I went to work, leaving two last shots for my final high.

I lay back against the wall. I held a bottle of Russian Vodka, staring up at the ceiling. I stoned, better than stoned. I took a swig of vodka. I held my antidepressants in my hand. I needed some type of relaxant. I had two pill casings, one as you know, is the antidepressants and the second are for my wack attacks. I finished off the bottle, letting it burn my throat. Okay, I was clean now. I just hoped I could stay clean.

I slowly pushed myself up off the floor. I heard a knock at my door. I slowly walked over, opening it with caution. I saw the Belikov brothers; right now I was not too sure which was which. Their mouths were moving, but no sound was coming out. "What?" I blinked, trying to clear my vision.

"Rose." I felt someone's hand on me. I looked around, the world spinning. "Are you okay?"

I shook my head. I looked at them both. I couldn't focus on either of them. I felt like I was going to be sick. I looked at the toilet, could I make it there without hurting myself? No, most likely not, but I had no choice. I ran to the toilet, hitting the door jam in my rush. I cried out, dropping to my knees just in front of the toilet. I emptied my stomach's contents. I heard talking, but was unable to understand any of it. Did I throw out the bags? Or are they lying out in the middle of my bed? Did I hide the bottle of vodka? No, it was all lying on my bed. I had everything in Russian, since most people didn't speak Russian. I finished throwing up. I looked back at Alik and Dimitri who watched me with worry. The worlds weren't spinning anymore.

"Dimitri, can I talk to you?" he nodded. Alik looked at me sadly and left. I stayed near the toilet just in case. He sat down next to me.

"What did you do?" he asked horrified.

"I threw out most of my drugs, leaving enough for a final high." I hung my head between my propped up legs. "I drank a whole bottle of vodka…" I looked at him, tears spilling down my cheeks. "It just hurts so much." I felt one of my wack attacks coming on.

"Roza." He pulled me into his arms.

"She wrote to me, I have to get her back." He rubbed my back. "I have to save her."

_"Rose! Rose! I have to help her." I watched as she looked at one of the few friends we had in this business. Sasha was beating the shit out of her. Lissa was whispering into my ear. _

_ "No, we stay quiet or we die. You know the rules." She looked at me as if she didn't know me. "He will kill you in a second, stop. If she lives we will help her, but if not…" she knew I would say we leave her. _

_ "Rose, who are you?" she hissed at me before stomping away. Sasha looked at me. He held out his hand for me to take. I had no choice, do it or die. I followed him into his office… where I have been paid so many times. _

"Roza, you will be okay." I shook my head.

"Dimitri, I fucked people for a living. How does that look? I watched my best friend die. I will never be okay, not even when she's back. There is no hope for me." I cried into his shoulder.

"It isn't your fault." He lifted my head to meet his eyes. "It isn't your fault."

"Dimitri…" he shook his head, pushing a finger to my lips. "I don't want to live, but no matter how hard I try, I still live." I sniffled. My tears were drying. "I have no reason to live, Sasha will come for me sooner or later, Liss is going to kill me." His lips were set in a stiff line.

"You deserve to live. You did great out in the real world."

"No, if I did, she wouldn't be dead right now." His lips crashed to mine, moving sweetly against mine. His hands moving all over my body. His tongue traced my lower lip. I opened, letting our tongues tangle. I loved him, I couldn't help but to love him. He knew me as well as Liss did almost. He ripped off my shirt. His hands traced my belly, running across my skin.

I pulled away, playing with the edge of his shirt. "Don't say no." I bunched his shirt up his torso. I yanked it off in one firm yank. I ran my hands down his chest. He was perfect. I looked up at him, moving my lips to his. They were so soft. I moaned as he pulled my body against his. His lips made a trail down my jaw to my neck. He nipped at me, marking me as his. I moaned at every nip and suck. He worked my body.

_I held on to the desk, he was hurting my body. I was surprised that he hadn't killed me yet. Sasha was talented in bed, but he only used his rough animalistic side on me. He even has had his girlfriend's join in and any other guy. He used me… but I didn't care. This was over time and he paid me a grand for every three hours of fuck time. _

I exited that memory. I knew the difference between fucking and making love. This was softer, more emotion. It made me squirm. I focused on my next task. I unbuttoned his pants. He lifted me and his hips up, I slid the rough material down his strong legs. He growled at my speed. That made me freeze. I looked up at him. "What is this?" I asked, my voice weak. He looked at me in question. "This isn't a fuck right?" his eyes widened in shock, quickly turning to understanding.

"No, this." He pointed to the air between us. "Will never be a fuck." I nodded. He pulled me to him, kissing my lips. This kiss held lust, passion, want, need… but most of all love. I was in a haze. I felt him kick off his pants. "Come with me." He picked us up in one fluid motion heading to my bed, laying me down with him on top.

"But bathroom sex is hot." He chuckled shaking his head. "You don't care do you?" he just watched my eyes, he knew what I was talking about.

"No. Why should I?" I smiled at him.

"Most would call me a whore." His teeth gritted together.

"You aren't one."

"I love that you don't care." I ran my fingers through his hair. He watched me intently. "I think I am falling in love with you."

"I know I fell in love with you." He kissed my lips. I couldn't wait any longer. He dragged my pants down torturously. I was squirming when he finally took them off. He kissed his way up too my stomach, twirling my bell ring with his tongue. I groaned.

"Dimitri." I commanded. He chuckled and kissed his way up to my breasts. Unhooking the lacy bra, I am so glad I go with the front clasps. He kissed my breasts, pulling my nipple into his mouth. He nipped and sucked. I felt him against me. I pulled my feet up to his hips, pulling down his boxers. He just grinned against my breast. I finally got them off. Success for Rose. He was big, huge. He switched breasts. I was writhing under him when his tongue swept over my tip. I moaned, arching my body up to him. "Stop teasing." I whimpered.

"I recall you like teasing too." I smiled at the memory. We were in a meeting about strogoi leads and he had sat across from me. I had played footsie with him, then later on I moved my foot to his… area. "That wasn't very nice." I smiled.

"You should have made love to me sooner." I contradicted. I still was obsessing about the fact our naked bodies were pressed together and we were here making small chat. I was beginning to become impatient. "You…" I whispered into his ear. "Are driving me wild." He grinned at me. I was in an unclasped bra and tight boy shorts. He was just talking. The door opened. I looked at Alik. He just stood there blushing. I quickly clasped my bra and stood up.

"Roza, I am so sorry." He wasn't he would never be sorry for stopping my sex life. I felt Dimitri's eyes bore into my back.


	6. Christian's aunt Tasha

Adrian came by my room way to early if you think about it from my view. I grudgingly got up and walked to the door, glad I wore actual pajamas to bed last night. I opened the door to a perky Christian and an excited Adrian. I let them in, scratching my head as I followed them to the living area of the suite. They sat down, Adrian excited to be using Spirit and Christian to actually get a shot at Lissa.

"Okay, it is…" I looked at the clock. "Seven, this is unholy." Christian snorted at me, Adrian laughing. "Okay, let me swipe a stake off a guardian. I'll be back." I trudged out of the room, my top hanging off of the top of my body, my belly showing. My bottoms hanging off my hips. I looked around the place as I went, looking for a Guardian. My luck being that I ran into the twins arguing. "Hey." I mumbled approaching them. They looked at me shocked.

"How are you up this early?"

"I have plans." I shrugged. "Can I borrow your stake by any chance?" I asked Dimitri.

"Why?"

"I have plans, just yes or no." he watched me, looking me over. His eyes stopping on my bare skin. He handed me his stake, I grinned at him. "You are the best." Alik scoffed at me, looking me over to. I stood there awkwardly.

"Rose, what's taking you so long?" I looked up at Adrian. "Oh, the cradle robbers." I punched his arm. "Ouch." He grunted.

"Let's get back to my room, come on." I nodded towards the two brothers glaring at Adrian and dragged him back to my room. I sat him down. "Dude, I got the stake… chill." I handed him the stake. "Be careful, don't hurt yourself." I warned. "Now, I want you to focus on something happy, pushing all the emotion and Spirit into that stake."

"How will I know if it works?" he asked, turning his attention to the stake.

"You will… begin." I lay down on the other couch, my feet up on the arm. Christian watched Adrian with interest as he worked. I stared at the ceiling, waiting for Adrian to get it. I was a very impatient person.

"Rose, I can't get it."

"Yes you can. If you haven't practiced your gift much before than this will seem almost impossible to you." I sat up, arms on my legs. "I promise you will get it." He began working again, his eyes focused and brow crinkled. He was an adorable alcoholic. Right as he almost had it the door bust open, Alik and Dimitri entered. Adrian broke concentration. "Damn it." I screamed. "Shut the door and sit down." I ordered the twins. I stood up, running my hand through my hair. "Adrian what is the best memory you have?" I asked as the twins sat down.

"I don't know."

"Well, help me help you." I begged.

"You could help me make a happy memory." He wagged his eyebrows.

"Just because you're royal does not mean I won't kick your ass Adrian." I warned. "Whatever you were thinking of before, do it again. You have five minutes to put Spirit into that thing or it will have a new target." I turned to the window once he focused. "No one speaks until he charms the stake." I growled, watching as the Moroi began waking up as the sun set. I took deep calming breaths, waiting for when he said he had done it.

"I think I've done it." Adrian said. I turned to them. I grabbed the uncharmed stake in my bag, bringing it to him.

"Do you feel a difference?" I asked handing it to him.

"Yes."

"Good, congratulations." I took my stake back, putting it in my bag. "You just need to learn to strike the heart now."

"Rose, what is going on?" Dimitri asked.

"If a Spirit user charms a stake, then sticks that stake in a Strogoi's heart they are returned to their original state… meaning Lissa the Strogoi would become Princessa Vasilissa once more." I explained. "I found a way to bring them back and I plan to use it." I looked at Christian. "How well can you control fire?"

"Pretty well, my aunt Tasha… who will be joining us shortly, taught me."

"Good." I muttered. I grabbed a pillow. "This will work." I stepped back. "Adrian come here." He walked over to me. "Stab the pillow." He eyed me weirdly. "Do it." He shrugged, stabbing my pillow. He didn't even penetrate it. "You do know that this pillow is the softest thing and stabbing through a Strogoi body is hard?"

"Fine, where do we begin?" I looked at Alik and Dimitri, smirking.

"Alik will be teaching you and Christian self-defense." He stood up, eyeing me. "Please?" I stuck out my lower lip, making my eyes wide.

"That doesn't work on me." he challenged. I smirked, letting my eyes smolder. I looked him over slowly, nibbling on my lower lip.

"Could you do this favor for me?" I purred. He raised his eyebrow at me, why in hell can everyone but me do that? "Please, I need my best friend back." I cut the shit. "If it was Dimitri wouldn't you do anything that you could to get him back or free him?" he nodded. "Then you understand. Liss is my sister, I love her more than myself some times." I admitted. "Please do this for me. I'll pay you back."

"You don't have to, I understand. Come on Mr. Ozera and Mr. Ivashkov." Alik lead them out of the room, leaving Dimitri and me. I sat back down, giving it a few minutes. When satisfied I got up, putting on a do not disturb sign and locking all three locks.

"Now, what was with the big entrance earlier?" I asked, sitting down. He looked everywhere but me. "What is the Russian god embarrassed?"

"What did you call me?" he asked.

"Nothing, a name the novices use for you." I blushed. "Seriously though, I take your stake and you bust down my door?" I asked.

"Well, it might be Adrian's fault I came…" I sighed, rubbing my face. "Roza, he's bad news."

"What do you mean?"

"You shouldn't be interested in him." I stood, walking over to him.

"Are you sure that it isn't you?" I asked, standing before him.

"What do you mean?"

"I'm not interested in him Dimitri." I straddled him. He watched me, his gaze darkening in the best way. "I'm interested in someone else."

"Do I know him?"

"You might… he's really tall and has brown hair, longer which makes it incredibly sexy." I whispered, twirling his hair around my finger. "He and I can't seem to get any alone time together because his twin brother keeps interrupting us."

"Really?" he put his hands on my hips, holding me against him.

"Yes… but see I just got rid of him and now we're alone…" I murmured, leaning towards his lips. "If you haven't caught on it's you." I whispered against his lips.

"Good." He growled, kissing me hard. I let a breathy moan escape pass my lips. A knock on the door sounded.

"If that's your brother I'm going to make you an only child." I growled, going to stand up. He pulled me back, kissing me passionately.

"Ignore it." He breathed, continuing the kiss. The knocking continued. I groaned, pushing myself up.

"I'll get rid of them." I promised. I walked to the door, unlocking it. I opened it slightly. A woman with black hair and a beautiful face, there was scars marking the side of her face making her even more beautiful. "Hello?" I cleared my throat, my face heating upon hearing it.

"Are you Rose Hathaway?" I put up my guardian mask.

"I'm not interested in whatever you're selling." I went to close the door but she stopped it.

"Alik told me you and Guardian Belikov were here…" she looked me over. I sighed.

"Who are you?"

"Tasha Ozera, Christian's aunt." I opened the door, giving up.

"It's nice to meet you." I smiled at her.

"It's nice to meet you too." She smiled. She looked past me, squealing. "Dimka…" she ran into his arms. I frowned, looking at the two. I let them hug and laugh… and smile. I could never get him to smile or laugh like that… maybe he was hers and I was just some fling. "Come, we must catch up." She said releasing him. He glanced at me, my face hard. "You don't mind right Rose?"

"No." I lied, keeping a straight face. "I have to go talk to Alik anyways." I shrugged.

"Come on." Tasha dragged him away, me staring after him. Once they were gone I quickly showered and dressed. I made my way down to the gym in the basement, knowing they would be there. I entered, flipping my hair. Three sweaty men… mmm.

"Roza." Alik smiled at me. At least I got to look at Dimitri even if it isn't Dimitri. "Hello beautiful." He smiled at me.

"Hey." I glared at the floor.

"What's wrong little Dhampir?" Adrian asked, slinging an arm around my shoulder.

"So gross, I totally just showered." I shrugged it off, laughing slightly.

"Why the bad mood Rosie?" I glared at Christian.

"Nothing, forget it. I'm just going to…" I shrugged. "Just maybe…" I sighed. "I don't know. Just a day in. I wanted to see how it is you're doing."

"I think they will be able to fight squirrels." I laughed.

"Work with them until they can barely move, then bring them to my place. They're sleeping there tonight." He nodded. "See ya Guardian Belikov." I looked him over one last time before heading back to my room. I wanted to scream. This is when I could have used the drugs. I wanted to be able to numb my pain again, but I didn't.

-X-X-X-X-

I ended up sitting in a ball, rocking back and forth. I took deep breaths, trying to calm my speeding heart and my over working brain. I was pretty sure if I didn't find some kind of release I would shoot someone. Maybe that bimbo Tasha. A knock at the door sounded, I didn't answer and just waited for them to enter. When they did I wanted a gun. It was Adrian, Alik, Christian, Tasha and Dimitri. I kept rocking back and forth, my arms keeping my legs close to my body.

"Roza?" I cringed away from the voice. I stopped rocking, just keeping my head in my knees.

"What's wrong with her?" Adrian asked.

"She's a recovering drug addict." Alik supplied. "I'm surprised she hasn't killed herself yet." I flinched at the idea of it.

"Will she be okay?" Tasha asked.

"I think so, let her come to her senses." Alik whispered. I felt them stay, watching me as if I was a caged animal. I didn't want to speak, not yet. "Roza… can you please talk to us?" That broke me. I uncurled myself, standing up.

"I don't want to talk. Why can those two still move?" I asked coldly. "I said I wanted them numb."

"That isn't safe."

"Yes, well I don't really care. Can Adrian stake a dummy?"

"Yes, not well, but he can."

"Adrian, you and I are working on it tomorrow." He nodded. I looked at Christian. "Are you able to keep a ring of fire around someone for five minutes?" he nodded.

"What is my nephew doing that for?" Tasha asked.

"He's going to help in a large plan." I sneered. "Adrian you aren't allowed to drink, stay here tonight. Christian you can stay too if you want."

"Okay…" I looked Tasha over, trying to withhold the disgust rising in me.

"Rose, are you risking my nephew?"

"Only if he screws up." I said honestly.

"What do you mean?"

"I don't have to tell you."

"It involves my nephew."

"No, it involves me and you are not in charge of me." I growled. "Your nephew is taking part by his choice. I can't let everyone know what I'm up to."

"Why not?" she challenged.

"Well, most of the things I've done are illegal… it's the best way to do things."

"Then you aren't allowed to do it." I stepped up in front of her, looking her dead in the eye.

"You are not in charge of me."

"No, she isn't… but I am."


	7. Now then

We all looked at my mother. She had her uniform on, hands on her hips and ready to kill. I scoffed at her, looking her over. "You are not in charge of me either." I snarled.

"Yes I am."

"Really? Where were you when I stole a Princess and ran away? Where were you when I worked at the slut shop in Russia? Where were you when I met my dad and he was threatening me to leave Russia? Oh, and where were you when my best friend died? Huh? Where the hell were you?" I yelled.

"I'm your mother, I have the right to know things about you?"

"No you don't. You lost that right when you dumped me here to continue your life." I growled, turning fully to her. "You don't control me anymore so stop trying."

"Rose…" she took a step forward.

"No, don't bother. I am completely capable of taking care of myself."

"If you were why is Princess Dragomir dead?"

"Get out." I whispered.

"Excuse me?" she asked.

"I said get out."

"No." I felt my body shaking, my anger rising. I walked past her, out the door. "Where are you going?" she asked, going into the hall after me.

"Away from all of you." I ran off, running as far as I could, ending up by a pond on a bench. It was in the middle of winter, my butt was freezing itself off. I felt the tears in my eyes. I was tired of fighting. I let them slip, my whole demeanor falling and breaking into a thousand and one pieces. I cried, for the first time in years I cried and it felt good. I let my pain finally pour from me.

"Wow, never thought I would see the day that Rosemarie Hathaway cried." my body tightened, my head swiveling back to see her. She stood there, leather and tight clothes. "Honey, I'm home." She sang, her voice harsh. She cackled to herself.

"Li-Liss." I stuttered. I stood up.

"I came to talk to you. It's only me, I'm giving you a chance." She examined her flawless nails.

"What do you mean Liss?"

"I mean, you come to meet me off sight and I'll turn you and leave everyone else alone…" she made it sound like it was the best offer in the world.

"I know the real Liss is in there." She cackled again.

"I am the real Lissa, Rose." She promised. "Everything is so much better this way." I saw the gang had caught up with me. "Don't you get it Rose… those endorphins you loved so much when I was Moroi, they're so much stronger now. You'll love it. It's like all those drugs you tried maximized to the fullest."

"You know I would never say yes to that Lissa." I whispered. "I would never give up my soul."

"Soul?" she laughed, it was cold and heartless. "You don't have a soul, don't you see?"

"See what?" she wrapped her hand around my throat, tight enough for me not to move.

"You don't have a soul Rose. Those drugs and those boys took it away. You lost your soul when you became Dr. Cummings." She snarled. "You slept with all those men, let them use you and you didn't care." She smirked a cold heartless smirk. "You're disgusting, you're the scum of this earth. You were only put here to be what your dad wanted…"

"You know nothing." I whispered weakly.

"I do though. You think about it all the time don't you? You wish you could be a blood whore like Vika became. That way no one could look at you and expect anything."

"Don't talk about our friend that way." I yelled.

"She's not _our_ friend Rose… she's gone."

"No." I muttered. "You killed her."

"No, she's a blood whore for me. In every sense. She's begging me to change her… maybe I should." She sniffed up my neck. "What do you think it will be like Rose? To know you're below everyone. Maybe then your stupid Dhampir could love you."

"Shut up. You don't know what you're talking about." I growled.

"Really? The way you looked at Tasha today said enough. She's going to be a delicious snack." Her fangs tickled my throat.

"Lissa, don't do this. You will regret it."

"That's not likely." She laughed. "Do you wish to be changed now or later?"

"How about never?" I snarled.

"You're making a mistake." She pushed me, I fell back into the snow. I stood up. "Make a choice or I order the attack."

"Fine, now then." She smiled, it was cold and twisted. It made me sick. She bit into my neck, giving Adrian the perfect shot. Christian wrapped us in fire. She screeched, letting me go. I gripped her tighter, hugging her as Adrian stabbed her. She screamed louder, trying to break free. She was almost there when he hit her heart. A white light surrounded us in the background. It was like an angel descending. I let Liss pull me to the ground. She held onto me tightly, crying into my shoulder. "Sh, it's okay." I promised.

"I'm so sorry Rose." She cried. "So sorry." She sobbed into my arms, soon Guardians had surrounded us. It looked like my vacation was officially ruined. "I'm sorry." She whispered as they dragged her off, to the holding station. I watched as she was torn away from me. Darkness began coming in as I entered her body. My god, the bond was back.


End file.
